Sunday, December 13, 2009

Grandpa's Birthday, walkin' all over, first time playing in the snow, and snoozin'....

Another busy week in Clarissaville. Let's see now....what has gone on.....well firstly we celebrated Grandpa's birthday.

As you can see he's still got it...all the candles out the first shot....errrrr.....not all as in "ALLLLLLLLLL"...just all. Soooooooo how 'bout those Sens???? (he says in attempt to change the subject).

Clarissa's walking skills increase each day. Her confidence is growing and she is really getting around.

She getting around so quickly that it's tough to get a picture that's not blurry. "She's faster than the capture speed of a digital camera, she's taller that the railings on her crib, she can turn a clean room into a disaster zone in the blink of an eye, she's SUPERCLARISSA!!!!!"

But Daddy I didn't make any mess....look how cute and innocent I look....

I took Clarissa out for her first experience in the snow today!!!!! She didn't quite know what to make of it...but she didn't freak out. I think that she had fun. It was snowing at the time and she was watching it come down with a "where the heck is that coming from???" look on her face.

I've been thinking quite a bit about a comment that was made on my favourite bl.....errrr....Adrian's (or should I say Ping's) site (you didn't think that I was going to use the B word did you? Check back to my first post.). Anyhow, it was kind of a suggestion that A&R (but I owned it as applying to all of us adoptive parents) need to and as the children grow older...the loss that is involved in our adoptions and not just focus on the positives. My initial reaction was "how could someone think that we would ever forget the loss?" From my comments: I don't think that it is possible for any of us who have made the trip to China to forget the circle of impact, gains and losses, that are involved. Most times that I look at my beautiful little girl along with my thoughts of how lucky my wife and I, and her all are to be together as a true family...I also am very aware that she has a birth Mother out there somewhere. I have extreme gratitude to this person who, through God's plan, brought this special little girl....our us. I really can't say what her birth Mother is feeling, but I don't pretend for a minute that she has not experienced loss. I have no doubt that her choice was not an easy one....quite likely not "her choice". We have been home for 3 months today...I can not even fathom for a moment the thought of Clarissa not being with us. In fact, I refuse to go there.

I am also acutely aware that Clarissa has experienced more loss at a year old than many people in adulthood have. I see it in the fear in her eyes every time she realizes that she doesn't know where Mommy and Daddy are. However, the joy and happiness that I see in her when she is with us surpasses that a million times over.

After stewing on it a bit, as Clarissa's Dad I still feel exactly the same way. However, I have heard the comments about how much of a better life she has, and will have now that she is part of our family...which is absolutely true in my opinion, but at the same time at only a year old her life has seen massive upheaval more than once. Her world has been turned upside down. I mean we are great, but still. There is loss. And somewhere out there, a thirteen hour plane ride away, is a woman who carried our little girl for 9 months and gave her up on the day that she was born. We are very, very thankful to God for bringing her to us, and we could not be happier.....but there is loss.

Hmmmmm I guess still have quite a bit to say....I'd better start posting more often. I'm exhausted. Sort of like how Clarissa was today at lunchtime. This was right...and I really mean "right" after taking her last mouthful of butternut squash. I had to check to make sure that she swallowed it. All that playing in the snow I guess.....


  1. Happy Birthday YeYe (grandpa). I love the shot of C sleeping in her chair * adorable*!!!


  2. Forget the sleeping in the chair shot, I love the "look how innocent I am" shot! ;-)

    There will be many many many many many more of those shots in the future. :-)

    As for "loss", yea, thats a hard one to define isn't it. I enjoyed your reply in the thread, when I read the previous comment I thought "oh, I gotta reply to this", then I read your comment I was like "oh, I guess there is nothing more to say". :-)

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  4. It's a toss-up between those two for me. The innocent one is so her and it makes me laugh each time I look at it, but an afternoon nap is kind of rare around here...therefore must be considered priceless. (Oh...I should add that she didn't nap in her chair....I took her out and put her in bed right away after taking the picture...)

    I debated long and hard before hitting the send button with my isn't my site afterall. In the end I couldn't let it go without saying something. If I didn't already know from reading your stuff, and R's was very, very clear how much you care after our short face to face chat. I'm nothing if not loyal to my peeps :-)