Monday, August 3, 2009

Pictures too early????

Alright, I know that this is going to sound like a crazy question. Yep, Rob is out of his mind. Is he?? Or is he completely in his mind???? Has he gone insane??? Or is he so sane that it's beyond belief??? Well you be the judge.....but be nice to him because he is just asking a question.

Sooooo the question two months ahead of travelling too early for us the get pictures of Clarissa? (he says as he looks over at Carolyn across the room while he types this.... he's wondered about this a bit over the last couple of days but hasn't said it out loud yet) Of course I'm not saying it is...let me explain my logic. (ya sentence....what's up with that????)

Firstly, let me say that I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE having Clarissa's picture! I cherish having her picture! I adore having her picture! I look at it all the time! It's my wallet, on the walls of my office, on my desk, on the desktop of every computer that I use.....everywhere. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love her picture....I love her soooooooo much! I can't wait to meet her. Can't freakin' wait!!! But.......

Ok before I get to the "but", let me add that we have done a whack of reading and learning about everything that we possibly can about adoption, including as many of the awesome bl.....sites that we can find of peoples journeys to China, so we have a pretty good idea of the wide range of things that we may or may not experience.

Sooo back to the but. Even knowing all that we know....we know that while we are here looking at her picture, waiting for her, developing a relationship with her, imaging her everywhere around our house, she isn't waiting for us. Even though we know that our package including pictures of us was delivered by Yulin, and hopefully her caregivers may be showing her our pictures...she isn't waiting for us. Even though she is such a huge part of our life....the center of it really....she isn't waiting for us.

How do we prepare ourselves for that? As Bob said...."she's probably not going to like you very much for a few days." We know that, we understand it, we don't question it at all, it makes perfect sense. Still, after two months of looking at her pictures, waiting for her, developing a relationship with her, imaging her everywhere around our house....she isn't waiting for us. How do we prepare ourselves for that?

Now, don't let my ramblings fool you. I have no doubt whatsoever that we are going to get through those hours, or days, or weeks, or whatever. We are going to love her, support her, and do everything humanly possible to make her know that our one goal in the world is to take care of her, and that we will always be there for her.

I'm just two months ahead of time too much? Ahhhhhhh I still say as I look over at the four pictures of her on the mantle....I wouldn't trade having her picture for anything in the world!

P.S. Roberta, I responded to you question with instructions about posting by email.


  1. We used Ann at Red Thread to send Ping some more gifts, we figure as well as *therapy* for us as we wait, this is good for her to recieve gifts and more items from us to help her begin to connect even more that we are coming soon. Ann was also able to get us even more photos of Ping which we posted on our Blog. THere is also this amazing company China Babies Which will research Clarissa's history and take photos which in time are invaluable for her Lifebook that you and Carolyn will put together for her. I think we'll go ahead and use this service aswell, just have to check with Adrian. China Babies, has 3 different options too, one with just photos, and other with more!

  2. Ya...hard to imagine isn't it. I had a roll-over-moment in bed one night that troubled me deeply...our daughter is 4 years old and old enough to comprehend a lot of things...what does she go threw every month when some of her friends go missing....does she understand they are going to their forever families...does it frighten her....has it become such a normal that she doesn't get too close incase they leave too....makes me sad.
    I loved your countdown so much I went to the site and did one too! Hope you don't mind that I copied your idea. I tried to find one on that would count down but they didn't have it to the second.
    Have a great week!